Most times I'm pretty happy to help others, believe strongly in contributing back to society, want to save all the starving kitties and puppies and whales and what all. But, I received an email yesterday which sparked my inner need for things.
My dad's mom is quite elderly, living in a nursing facility with dementia and whatever else afflicts a 90 year old former alcoholic and smoker. My brother and I are beneficiaries of her living trust (something I learned yesterday and still have no idea what that really means). My uncle, her only remaining child and relative to speak of besides us, gets to deal with all the logisitical crap of her life.
She has some antiques in storage that he'd like to take out of storage and sell so the storage place can be closed. I guess they could come to us if either of us wanted them, but to me, shipping something from CA to MA seems silly. He proposed that we sell them (they are valued at upwards of 20K) and donate the money to some scholarship fund at the Episcopal church where she was ordained.
I know the right thing to do is to respond and say sure, donate away, someone will get an education out of it or a hot meal or something. But, my honest reaction is to stamp my foot and say No! someday I want to own a home and this is my chance to put some money in my kitty. It has not been lost on me over the years that she and my uncle both put money into college funds for my niece and nephew. Now, I don't want to deprive the little people of college later, but aren't I entitled to an equal amount? Seems unfair that just because I haven't procreated that no $$ is coming my way. By the way, I feel about 2 feet tall saying all this, but its the truth. In fact, I'd like to suggest the antiques be sold and I get my portion of the proceeds plus the remainder of what my brother owes me from the thousands of dollars I loaned him years ago that he has refused to pay back.
Family and money, they just don't mix!
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3 comments:
How about you tell him to give you your share and YOU can decide who you want to donate it to? And then you can donate to your home fund :)
I like your thinking! I did reply and say that it is a dream of mine to own a home and things like this provide an opportunity, so we'll see what he says!
That's a tough one. I deal a bit with this issue with my mother concerning my father's art but in that case, she's legally within her right to do whatever. Since you are legally within your right - stand your ground. maybe offer to donate a portion? (Like put 5% in an account and donate the interest?)
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