Contemplations

We need to figure out the nuts and bolts of our wedding ceremony in fairly short order so I've been turning some things over in my mind. There are so many elements of marriage that have historical origins that I just can't get with. (see my earlier post on name changing - BTW, I've decided to keep my name.) Here's what I've discovered:

The Veil: When I tried on dresses, my mom wanted me to try out a veil. So, I did, but I didn't love it. I had never thought I'd have a veil (the last one I wore was my mother's when I was about 7 and was the Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween). Recently, I've been contemplating my hair do for the wedding and have a strong conviction that I want to look like me and not some souped up, on stage version of me. But, I came back to the veil as something I should maybe think about. So I did. I looked it up on ye old internet and here's an excerpt of what I found on ourmarriage.com: "The bride's veil...usually shrouded her from head to foot, and has since the earliest of times, denoted the subordination of a woman to man....The lifting of the veil at the end of the ceremony symbolizes male dominance. " YUCK. That puts that issue to bed. No veil for me.

Being Given Away: Obviously, I don't have a father alive to give me away, but even when he was alive, I never thought I'd have someone walk me down the aisle. I was fairly sure the whole concept was linked back to the time when women were sort of traded as a commodity from one family to another. ourmarriage.com tells me this about the event - "In times when women were granted few privileges and even fewer personal rights, the bride was literally given away to the groom by the father, usually in exchange for monetary gain." YUCK AGAIN. However, they do also say, "Today, it is seen as symbolic of the blessings and support of her union as a promise of continued trust and affection." I like that idea much better. If I were to have someone walk me down the aisle, I'd like to ask my Godfather, who has always been a strong paternal figure in my life. This is still an option and I may ask him.

Having something blue: Ben and I were talking about the whole "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" saying and wondering what the blue business was all about. Again, from the same website: "Brides of ancient Israel wore blue ribbons on the border of their wedding cloths to denote, love, modesty and fidelity. These are ideals still associated today with that color. Blue also denotes the purity of the Virgin Mary and is the most popular of all colors. " Weeeeellll. I think it is safe to say being 5 months pregnant at my wedding will rule out the whole virginal thing. My suggestion to Ben was that I wear my blue thong as my blue element. Given the origins of the tradition and my general irreverence, that seems like an even better idea now!

There are a whole bunch of other things about weddings answered on this site. The one that caught my eye was the Honeymoon. I see it as a reward for working hard to put the event together. They say, "In ancient times, many of the first marriages were by capture, not choice. When early man felt it was time to take a bride, he would often carry off an unwilling woman to a secret place where her relatives wouldn't find them. While the moon went through all its phases, (about 30 days) they hid from the searchers and drank a brew made from honey. Hence, we get the word, honeymoon."

Ahhh, women's lib. You gotta love it!